The Greatly Retarded Parody
by D unknown
Summary: Just what the title says.
1. Chapter 1

A few notes-

I don't really dislike any of the stuff I made fun of here. I was just really high. So please don't take this too seriously!

Oh, wait, I DO detest Mary Sues.

* * *

Naruto carefully put on his headband, a determined look on his face. "Right," he muttered to himself, "Today's the day I tell Sasuke-teme how much I really like him…

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

Pale, slender hands delicately drew hot pink curtains apart. The owner of these perfectly formed appendages smiled gently as the warm sunlight fell on her face, illuminating a shockingly beautiful face with a flawlessly formed nose and full, pink lips.

Her purple eyes sparkled with innocence while also randomly changing to a 100 different colours for no apparent reason. No wait, there was a reason. She had the world's most powerful bloodline trait after all, the Rinyugan!! And she was only the most beautiful girl in the whole of Konoha; her name was (insert usual randomly retarded name)

"Omg, lyk im so gunna make Sasuke-kun fall in, lyke, lurve wid me today."

Giving her uber-shiny multi-coloured hair a lavish flip, our 'goddess' of a girl got off her bed, ignoring the crow that got blinded by the glaring brightness of her hair and rammed headlong into the windowpane.

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

Suffering from a fit of OOCness, Uzamaki Naruto began to sing of the seemingly eternal angst and loneliness that he must face for being a Jinchuuriki as he made his way towards their team meeting place; aah, cruelty hath no bounds!

_Loooooooonnneeeeeeellllyyyyyyy,_

_I am so loooooooonnnneeeeeellllyyyy,_

_I have nobooooooddddyyyyyy…….._

"Naruto-kun, what a lovely voice you have…"

Naruto stopped abrubtly and his eyes widened at the sight before him. Long, dark tresses fluttered in the wind about a gorgeous face. There stood Uchiha Itachi in all his enigmatic sexiness… and the Akatsuki cloak…

"Come with me Naruto-kun."

"Why should I?"

"So that I may suddenly stop being the psychotic, emotionally constipated twit that I am, rape you and then profess my undying love for you."

"What about the Kyuubi?"

"That too."

"Sounds interesting, but another day, eh? Right now I've got to meet my team."

"All right, how about this Friday then?"

"Sure thing! I'll just completely ignore how we're enemies and you're the sole reason for making my best friend's life hell, and I'll so fall in love with you as soon as I hear your voice."

"You do that," and Itachi was gone in a poof of smoke.

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

Uchiha Sasuke, one of the best shinobi of Konoha and every rabid fan girls' fantasy, leaned casually aginst the railing of the bridge.

'I'm so cool,' he thought with a smirk.

And that's when he saw…

**(insert usual randomly retarded name) 's POV-**

'OMG! Lyke, I can s0 totaly see Sasuke-kun at teh brij! He is, lyke, s0o0o0 hawt! Zomg! I'm gunna marry h1m n hav many many little….'

**Sasuke's POV-**

…the most stunningly gorgeous creature I've ever set my eyes on…beautiful, fluid waist length hair, perfect curves at the perfect places, and strange, enchanting eyes…Wait! Is she coming here?! Yes she is!! Oh crap…

**(insert usual randomly retarded name) 's POV-**

I lyke, walked up 2 him n said, "Hi Sasuke-kun!"

**Sasuke's POV-**

"Er…umm…h-hi." Why did I have to blush now?…Even though in reality I'd rather die than do a Hinata.

**(insert usual randomly retarded name) 's POV-**

'OMG! H3's blushing!! Cho chweeet!' :drool:

**Sasuke's POV-**

What do I do? What do I do??

**(insert usual randomly retarded name) 's POV-**

:drool:

**Sasuke's POV-**

:blush:

**(insert usual randomly retarded name) 's POV-**

:drool:

**Itachi's POV-**

'Hmm…I wonder how Kisame tastes stir fried…'

**Random guy's POV-**

'Goodbye, cruel world!'

**Naruto's POV-**

Well, here I am…the bridge…wait, what the hell is that?! Sasuke's with someone else?

Neeuuuuuuuuu!!

**Normal POV-**

Naruto watched heartbroken as his one true love was flirting with someone else. 'Well who ever it is, is going to dieeeee!' he thought viciously. He moved his line of sight towards the offender and gasped!

He couldn't believe his eyes! There stood a drop-dead gorgeous yet innocent and fragile being. Something warm bubbled up in him. He felt overwhelmed by the sudden urge to protect that lovely nymph from the pervert Sasuke, and make her his forevermore…

"Oi! Sasuke-teme!" Naruto hollered. "How dare you molest the poor damsel?! RASENGAN!"

"What the…?" But before he could comprehend the situation, Naruto had already neared Sasuke. Unfortunately, the blond shinobi tripped over his foot and Rasengan-ed the girl over the bridge, and into the river.

"Lyke, ow," she muttered before being engulfed by an angry horde of flesh-eating, rabid beavers.

"Naruto you idiot! Look what you did!"

"Oops…Oh well, since we're here, let's make hot gay love!"

"…Okay."

"Great!" Naruto exclaimed. "You can be uke, and soon we'll have mini Narutos and Sasukes all around:squee!:"

"Baka, men can't have babies!"

"Of course they can! It's called 'mpreg'."

"Oh."

"So… where err, will they come out from?"

"Your ass."

"WTF?!"

And so once again, the day was saved, thanks to… the Powerpuff Girls!!"

END


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, this isn't a chapter, sorry if you were expecting one ^^'**

**I just wanted to shamelessly advertise a parody of LOTR my friend's put up on the net (hope it's not against ff(dot)net rules or something. Meh :).) If you liked this story, you'll love the LOTR one! So please check it out if you can ^^ **

**It can be found at **www .supersaiyanlog. webs. com** (without the spaces of course)**

**W00t!**


End file.
